Wednesday, April 23
Run
I fell asleep last night on the floor next to Odie's toddler bed. At 0430 I awoke to a bang on the wall--he had dropped his sippy cup. It startled us both and my first sight this morning as I bolted upright was looking right into his eyes, since he bolted upright, as well. While a 2-year-old has the mystical ability to suddenly fall back asleep, I do not. I laid him down with SW and began the day in the dark.It proved to be very productive. With everyone asleep I managed to catch up on a lot of stuff. By 0600 the sun was rising, and it was in the upper 50's. I decided to go for a run.
I'm not sure what happened. I've grown to enjoy running a lot more than I used to, since now I don't constantly feel like I'm going to have a heart attack, or my hip feels like it's going to explode. But I still would rather crash on the couch than go run. For some reason, this morning was different.
The sun rose while I ran--lost in "Panama" by Van Halen. I've heard the song a million times, but today I almost danced. I was completely elated. Then it hit me:
I'm going to fly again.
I've known for a short while that I was assigned to go back to fly. It's pretty uncommon for a graduate of ACSC to get that opportunity, so of course I was happy. We're going back to Del Rio, TX--the same place I flew with students last time, and in the same squadron. But being bogged down by thesis papers, language instruction, and tests, I hadn't given it much thought. All those (except two more tests) are behind me now. I guess it just really hadn't hit me yet until this morning.
I'm going to fly a T-6 Texan II at Laughlin AFB. For real. After sitting for four years and typing on computers, I am getting to go back to the one job I have loved more than anything else I have ever done.
What a way to start the day. By the time I got home I was far from exhuasted--I was on cloud nine.
Tuesday, January 29
Laps
Em and I have been swimming. We signed up for a "Tinman" triathalon--an Ironman Tiathalon that you have one month to complete. I'm amazed at how quickly we've gotten better at swimming--when we first started we did 12 laps and I thought I was going to die. Now we can go 20 without much problem. The weird thing, for me, is that I'm actually enjoying it.I tend to zone out a bit more than when running or biking. I think that has something to do with how much I have to concentrate on what I'm doing, as opposed to just plodding along on the bike or treadmill. Time goes by pretty quickly.
This shot is of the lanes we try to swim in. This sight has gone from generating fear to excitement for me. It's a great experience.
Monday, January 28
Ride No More
I sold my Harley today. Got a great price for it. Rode her one more time across town to say my goodbyes, and dropped her off at a retiree's house. He seems like a good guy, although he said he doesn't plan on riding much.I called her Jenny, after my late sister. Thought it would keep me safe. Really got into the Harley cultural mindset for a little while, before my real life caught up with me and brought me back. I rode her mainly to go back and forth to work while I was in Arizona, but barely cranked her up when I got to Alabama. Not enough time, and unlike Arizona, no real need to do it. So for six months she more or less sat in the garage, as my time with her grew less and less--like a kid outgrowing a toy.
When we were having trouble selling our house and money was getting tight, I decided it was time. Took maybe 2 weeks on the lot to get a buyer. He didn't even take it for a test drive and gave me full asking price.
Last night I put the monkies on the back and took them for one last spin around the neighborhood. Sarah loved it, Sammy is still too small to even put his feet on the pegs. As I drove away from her new home, I reassured myself that maybe someday I'll get another one, when it's more out of enjoyment than necessity, and I have more time to really enjoy and appreciate owning a Harley Davidson motorcycle.
Maybe someday.
Probably not.
Goodbye, Jenny. Thanks for keeping me safe.
Saturday, January 26
Reflections
"With this ring, I thee wed."We never got to say that. Our wedding was rushed, in an attempt to get the military to keep us together while Sarah was born. So much confusion during those times. So much uncertainty.
I love this photo for the unintended consequence of having the reflection of my daughter in the band. So much is contained in this ring that I wear. A history of over a decade of being with one person, through good and bad times. Three children, worlds of joy and worlds of heartache.
Reflections of what is truly important in my life fill me when I see this picture. Reflections of what wearing this ring means, not only to me, but to those contained within its glimmer.
Friday, January 25
Airdrop
What I remember the most about Guam was the heat.Most people hated going to Guam, for some reason. I absolutely loved it with all of my heart. It was there, I think, that I figured out that the location I live matters little--as long as it's warm.
We dropped SEALs on the island all the time--from high altitudes, all the way down to 1000' over the surface of the water. They were awesome. Cliche'd word, I know--but I honestly can't think of a better way to describe them. Tougher than anyone I've ever worked with, and some of the coolest and easy-going men I've known. One of the guys in this photo had over 10,000 drops and had shattered his legs three times.
I haven't flown in almost four years. There's a good possibility that I'll be going back to flying soon--hopefully in the same training capacity that I loved so much before. My limited experience in the C-130 is kind of summed up in this photo, which I took on one of my last live training missions just prior to 9/11. I like the darkness sillhouetting the jumpers and the loadmaster, and the beautiful sky beyond them. It makes me feel like a part of my life and career that I left behind can still be seen, but grows darker with the passage of time.
Thursday, January 24
NICU
It's kind of difficult to describe exactly what I was feeling when I took this. While doctors kept telling us that Sammy had problems, all I could see was absolutle, innocent perfection. And he was so strong. As I watched them putting tubes into his chest, down his throat, into his arms, I remember thinking how much that had to hurt--how uncomfortable that must be. How much I just wanted to hold him close and take him home--away from that horrible place and away from the foreign country that, while it was trying so hard to help him, I couldn't help but blame for our circumstances.He is so resilient. The fighting spirit he displayed in that tiny glass shoebox carries with him even today. He's smaller than most boys his age, but tougher and more compassionate than any child I have ever known.
Monday, June 11
So Long
I think it's time I reached the end of the line, and laid Desert Odyssey to rest for a while.
She's been essentially dead for a long time, now, anyway.
The purpose this site originally served was to keep me in touch with family while I was deployed to Qatar. New to blogging at the time, I quickly became addicted and it transformed into a type of therapy for me. Gradually, I moved from a Milblogger, to politics, to life in general, and then eventually--to nothing. I used to take notes throughout the day on things to write about. Now, I occasionally remember that I have a blog out there.
I've tried many times to get back into this, but it just ain't happening. With the move coming up, and a radical change in lifestyle with it, maybe I'll come back to this. But for now--I'm done.
I still have my other blog, where I chronicle my family's training in Tae Kwon Do, but even that one's gonna fizzle since we're about to take a two month hiatus until we get settled in Alabama.
I will keep adding things to my Flickr account, as I still love that and am still taking pictures every day. I've been debating doing some form of 365--either of myself or the kids.
This has been a lot of fun, and has changed my life in ways I won't even begin to list here. I've made some amazing friends, and have had a wonderful time. I'll still be out there--reading and commenting, and someday I may come back to Desert Odyssey.
Until then, so long--and thanks for reading.
Chris
Tuesday, May 29
On Second Thought
After writing that last post I looked to Black Five to see what he had to say. And Grim put me in my place.
I've said a lot of bad things about Sheehan in the last couple of years. Most of them were generated from the outrageous headlines that she caused worldwide that portrayed our Country in a bad light. A lot of the cynicsm that surrounds my views of the American political system come from close to the same sources as hers. And in the end, especially after reading what I just did, I feel bad.
I'm debating taking down that last post--something I have never done and have kept myself from doing, even when I didn't like what I had wrote.
Lastly, I was pretty busy yesterday and didn't have time to write. Black Five also has a fantastic post about Memorial Day. Read it here.Cindy Sheehan is a grieving mother. I sympathize entirely with the motivation. I cannot imagine what the loss of my son would do to me; I would be grateful to the world, I think, if it refused to judge any action I took for at least a year or two afterwards. And so, applying the Golden Rule, I shall refuse to judge her. I hope she finds the peace she needs.
I have no use for those who are using her to further their ends -- nor those who are so heartless as to speak ill of her, in the depth of her pain.Yes, I know she was a radical before the war began. That means nothing. She is a Gold Star mother, and so she is due a full measure of kindness from us. May she find her peace. May those who are trying to use her get what they deserve. As for those who have sneered at her character -- no one asks you to approve of her, or what she thinks, or how she feels. All I ask is that you let her rage, and pass on, without judgment. That, at least, is only what we should want for ourselves if, under an evil star, we should find ourselves brought to her fate.
For Once We Agree
And so comes the end of an Cindy Sheehan is quitting.
In her "farewell" speech, she actually brought up, ahem, some good points. Please wait while I take another shot of Jack.
Ok. In the end, it appears that we have some common views. No, not things that have changed on my end since the beginning, just things that she finally realized after embarrassing herself for the last two years.
"I've been wondering why I'm killing myself and wondering why the Democrats caved in to George Bush," Sheehan told The Associated Press while driving from her property in Crawford to the airport, where she planned to return to her native California.
"I'm going home for awhile to try and be normal," she said.
Yeah, good luck with that one. At least she acknowledges the "not normal" part of her life.
Sheehan criticized "blind party loyalty" as a danger, no matter which side it involved, and said the current two-party system is "corrupt" and "rapidly descending into with nary a check or balance: a fascist corporate wasteland."
"Casey died for a country which cares more about who will be the next American Idol than how many people will be killed in the next few months while Democrats and Republicans play politics with human lives," she wrote.
Couldn't have said it better. Pessimistic? Cycnical? Yeah--the country's changed a bit in the last decade.
And lastly, the one thing that I've known all along about her, and she would have saved a marriage and a lot of time, effort, and money had she just thought about this and kept her yap shut:
"Good-bye America ... you are not the country that I love and I finally realized no matter how much I sacrifice, I can't make you be that country unless you want it.
"It's up to you now."
Monday, May 21
Commencement
Some great words from Rudy Guilliani's commencement address at my Alma Mater:
The Cold War took years, but we prevailed, and it will happen. And on that day, because you’re going to achieve it, your generation will take its place
beside the greatest generations in our nation’s history. Our ideas of freedom,
democracy, respect for human rights, respect for human life, and the rule of
law—these are the principles that the human heart and the human soul yearns for. These are gifts that are given to us, not by government, not by men or women. These are gifts that are given to us by God. They’re the principles along with the strength and skill and valor of the men and women like The Citadel graduates of 2007 that make me completely confident that we’ll win the terrorist war on us. We will win. We will prevail.
The terrorists who attacked us on September 11 misjudged the character of
the United States of America. They thought that freedom makes us weak. They thought that democracy makes us decadent. They thought that our diversity made us easy to divide and conquer. It’s a mistake that tyrants have made in the past about America. All of these principles, all of these principles make us stronger. You are the leaders of the 9-11 generation and I believe that you and I have learned the same lessons from our history and from our past. Never retreat. Never wave the white flag of defeat. America doesn’t retreat. America advances.
I’d like to leave you with a memory from the September 11th day. It was
captured in the now famous photograph showing three firefighters covered in ash, raising the American flag over the rubble of Ground Zero. There were fires below their feet of 2000 degrees or more. Their actions echoed the photograph of the flag being raised over Iwo Jima a half century before. It looked very similar. In America, the heroic example of past generations are carried on and built upon by the next generation. When I saw those firefighters, I saw in their eyes, and I saw in their action the same thing that their fathers would have done or their grandfathers would have done in the same situation, and they did the same thing. In the face of being attacked, in the face of having their lives in jeopardy, in the face of watching their brothers and comrades die in front of them, what they said was, we don’t retreat. We don’t put our heads down. We don’t back up. We stand for something bigger than us. We stand for democracy. We stand for liberty. We stand for freedom. We stand for peace. And we’re going to put up our flag, and hold it there, and it is going to prevail, and it is going to wave as a symbol of freedom and democracy for us. And we don’t want to impose it on anyone else. We want to give it to them. Share it with them as a gift that isn’t ours alone, but a gift that comes from God. No one knows that better, no one understands that better than the graduates of this class. You’ve learned it. You’ve put it in your hearts. It’s been taught to you, and now we’re counting on you. We’re counting on you to be the leaders of the 9-11 generation, and if we’re going to count on you to be the leaders, I am very, very confident that we are going to prevail.
God bless you, and God bless America.
I am an Air Force Major and father of three. I orginally started blogging when deployed to the desert in Operation Iraqi and Enduring Freedom, and it has carried over into becoming a sanctuary for me. My blog is my way of documenting my journey through life, and putting my opinions down on paper.
